Showing posts with label gurlz guide to carrying keyz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gurlz guide to carrying keyz. Show all posts

Monday, June 13, 2011

lizzie's guide to living on your own

STEP TWO:

when walking to your apartment after dark because you were forced to park 15 blocks away* due to all the spots on your street being taken by everyone in LA with an average of 7 cars per person**, always carry your keys in the manner i like to call "the wolverine" or "the esther" (named for my cat with especially sharp claws shaped like tiny hooks), just like this, with your keys pointing outward:
it's a convenient self-defense mechanism in case you might need to slash someone's face.
BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY Y'ALL.
+++bonus time-saver! carrying your keys in this beneficial manner also prevents you from losing them in the depths of your purse~~

.............................................

tomorrow i'm driving to ventura to see steel train, and i'm going to get there 3.5 hours early but i don't even care because i'll probably just sit outside and finish reading the stranger aka l'etranger and become a philosophical genius, and then during the show i'll stand in the front row and spend the entire time singing and dancing, regardless of whether or not i still have a horrible debilitating cold.
maybe they'll even play touch me bad and maybe THIS will happen again>>>>>>>
luv u 4evrr jack antonoff xoxoxoxoxo



*actual distance is 2 blocks
**actual statistic is 1.8 cars per person