i'm going home tomorrow bbs

THERE WILL BE NO CONCLUSIVE POST.

who knows, i may even continue this while i'm in shreveport. LOS ANGELES IS A STATE OF MIND Y'ALL.

jk

i don't know maybe later i'll post the pictures i haven't developed yet or something.

cya

fshn blg xoxo

just trying to show off this skirt made by amy scott but instead it's overexposed and just blends into the wall. oops.

just take my word for it y'all, it's rad.

lizzie's guide to driving in LA~~

hey all y'all, some of y'all may know that LA has its own set of driving rules. it takes quite a bit of time to get used to, but now i'm practically an expert. here are some tips:

1. the maximum amount of cars to turn left on red is TWO. if more than two cars go, that just ruins the whole intersection for the entire next light cycle.

2. if there is a green arrow provided for you to turn left, TURNING LEFT ON RED IS UNNECESSARY. this completely defeats the purpose of the green arrow!

3. DO NOT SWITCH LANES IN AN INTERSECTION. duh.

4. if you're heading east in the right lane of fountain at the la brea intersection, TURN RIGHT ON LA BREA PLZ. or else you'll be cutting tons of cars off when the lane ends and everyone will h8 u 4ever

5. if you're happily driving along and there is a green light (indicating "go") you still shouldn't go if there are cars backed up in the upcoming lanes. if you do, you'll be sitting in the middle of the intersection when the light turns red and cars will honk at you for the entire light as if you didn't already know you were stopped in the middle of an intersection.

here is a SPECIAL DRIVING VLOG for y'all:

lizzie drives down laurel canyon FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE, but neglects to capture the lovely steep downhill slope of the road or the spectacular views in the distance, but instead captures the sound of her car practically shattering into thousands of pieces each time she goes over a bump.

a few short lists*

in honor of me seeing the national play a REALLY GR8 show at the hollywood bowl last weekend, here is an important list of 3 movies that have the national songs playing during the end credits:

1. win win

2. peter and vandy

3. warrior

and

places that won't let you bring a backpack in, even though i'm using it IN PLACE OF a purse and not IN ADDITION TO. and it's very stylish and DENIM. and it's just a preferable style of purse that distributes the weight evenly across your shoulders and back~*~ AND WHY, security guards, DO YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST MY CHOSEN STYLE OF PURSE.

1. fyf fest

2. the bill maher taping

nothing

it's just that i've been trying to upload a video for the past ENTIRE HOUR and it's taking 4444444444ever~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~**~*~~~~~

trashion blog

all these clothes are from the flea market

107 degree weather by mother nature

KEWL ATTITUDE by me

lizzie recites hippos go berserk from memory for your listening pleasure

clearly the best use of my time

4got 2 show u guyz these pix

these are from the CALAMITOUS lubitel workshop that i did

.......

the first 17 pictures were ruined by this huge yellow circle/the most unfortunate light leak. THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT I NEEDED TO COVER UP THE TINY HOLE IN THE BACK Y'ALL. this was such an expensive mistake.

the last 3 were acceptable.

this last one is the best i guess. i did this by accident, even though i've tried to do this similar effect zillions of times on purpose and it's never come out right. oh, life.

here's what i've been ^ 2:

just created a beautiful dining table centerpiece of things ppl have sent me this summer. GETTING MAIL HAS BEEN MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT LIVING AWAY FROM HOME. although it's NOT my favorite thing about living in LOS ANGELES. i have millions of other favorite things about that.

i hope you guys can see the quarters taped to a notecard that my mom sent me. these are intended for the use of the washer and dryer. i guess she assumes i do laundry very frequently (which i don’t), so now i have a notecard and a very large piece of cardboard with rows of quarters taped to them. thanks mom.

i wish lil cody’s letter was legible from this photograph but instead you’ll just have to take my word for it that it’s a gr8 letter.

other notable inclusions: the best photo album EVER that amy made me, a leonard cohen poetry book, mix cds and tapes from james, postcardssss, regular cards, magazines containing bon iver articles, EVERYTHING I LOVE SO MUCH

++++++

one night last week i went to paleyfest for cbs and saw the cast of criminal minds IN REAL LIFE.

thursday tim and i saw band of horses at the wiltern and it was totally worth the 3 hours of sleep i got that night. if you guys have never been to a concert with tim allen smith (and its actually very likely that you have not) YOU’RE MISSING OUT. he sings shouts the often-wrong lyrics the entire time and its just an incomparable experience.

yesterday i went to santa monica and walked around by the ocean and thought about infinity.

today i went to the farmers market and got breakfast at my 2^nd favorite breakfast place and went to boxing class and then walked 28353iu534 miles down Fairfax and to the tar pits.

then just now i made bruschetta and strawberry fig salad and while i was eating i thought “THIS TABLE IS TOO EMPTY LOL” and VOILA the idea for a wonderful centerpiece!

transition complete. END SCENE.

lizzie reads from tree of codes for your listening pleasure

EVERYONE KNOWS that tree of codes is jonathan safran foer's newest "novel" which is actually a "novella" created from another novel called the street of crocodiles.

it is a DIE-CUT book, as if he took the street of crocodiles and only printed it on one-side of the pages and then literally cut out some of the words to make a whole new story!!!!

(i think i'm going to submit this description here to wikipedia because there is no entry for tree of codes yet and this is so eloquently written.)

it's common knowledge that jonathan safran foer is a creative genius.

in fact everything he's ever written is the most beautiful thing i've ever read. maybe. if not, it's at least a tie for first place.

it took me quite a few tries to figure out how to read this book. first i just tried looking at the pages normally and reading through the holes. but then i realized that duh you need to lift up each page and read the words that remain.

please keep this in mind if you watch the video and are like "lizzie you can't even read wtf"

i mean the punctuation is not always obvious ok

i've probably read it about 5 times all the way through. hope you guys like it

cya

cross-processed aka RAD PHOTOZ

~~~~just eavesdropping on people's conversations while i upload these~~~~~

ppl using miles per hour as metaphors for life

ppl talking about going on the jurassic park ride

ppl talking about tennis boring stuff

also i just accidentally learned how to make check marks √√√√√√√√√√√√√√

lizzie's guide to baking things

the entire time i lived at my parent's house, any time i ever tried baking or cooking anything my mom would intercept and be like U R DOING IT ALL WRONG BB

then she'd take over and finish it for me

now that i've been living alone, i have a few words of wisdom regarding baking:

1. don't ever use measuring cups, they're just a superfluous contribution to clutter in your kitchen. GUESTIMATING is a perfectly acceptable way to measure ingredients.

2. always add way more butter than you think you could possibly need

3. always add tons of cinnamon to everything because it makes food taste better. in fact i can't think of any food that exists that wouldn't taste good with cinnamon. just go ahead and unscrew the sprinkle-hole top and dump some out, it's so delicious~*~*~

i guess that's it

lizzie's guide to living on your own

STEP FOUR:

it's perfectly okay to survive for an entire week on only waffles if the waffles are multigrain

*seppie*

YOU GUYS.

sorry for the extra-long hiatus of keeping y'all upd8d on my life.

it's just that i've been doing TOO MANY FUN THINGS which take up a lot of time.

this week iiiiiiiii

1. saw mamma mia outside in a park. the movie, not the play. although the play would've been considerably more noteworthy, but only because i've seen the movie 129384 times. you're probably wondering if it was the sing-along version and yes, it was. plenty of ppl felt the desire to sing the entire movie in full voice, but i didn't sing along for two reasons: because i was too busy being cold, and because i don't like to overpower pierce brosnan's beautiful vocal talents.

2. went to sea world in san diego with my pal from shreveport charles~~~

AND TOUCHED A DOLPHIN. FEELS LIKE RUBBER AND MAGIC

3. saw dawes at the santa monica pier

4. and saw tonsss of bands at fyf fest yesterday. "fyf" stands for "fuck yeah fuck-all-those-other-bands-because-girls-killed-it" do y'all know girls>>>> you should because they're gr8999

also cults was rad. smith westerns. cold war kids. nbd

if you were wondering what other fun things i have planned for the upcoming week, i AM seeing band of horses on thursday and i AM seeing the national on sunday.

also i can never get the internet at my apartment EVER AGAIn because the wireless i sometimes used to "borrow" has a brand new password. rude.

this means i have to use the internet at coffee bean and other places.

i'll try to get here more often bbs

luv u miss u all y'all~

more pixxx from when my mom came to visit and other things

MY NEW HOME

my bb

pink flamingos at the LA zoo~*~*~

TR4V3LL1N8

my mom luvs ~the grove~

better watch out for those smiling cacti hey dude

being in outer space basically

letter 2 all ppl here

dear california,

i was feeling homesick so i brought a little piece of louisiana 2 u~*~*~

ur welcome 4 the 107 degree temper@ures last wknd.

xoxo lizzie

fit auggie 2k11 part deux

salads are gr8, veggies are gr8, but SOME OF US (myself and patrick wheeler included) just want to eat candy and/or ice cream all the time. this is usually fine, except that during the month of august, AS YOU'LL RECALL, i'm trying to sort of eat healthier-ish.

healthy f00d, u make me feel g00d. u give me energie. u give me lyfe.

here is a non-definitive list of foods that taste like candy but are actually healthy:

this very well may be the most delicious new thing i've discovered. APPLESAUCE IN A POUCH. mixed with bananas!! just like eating baby food mmmmmm

everyone knows that whole foods has grilled pineapple during the summer

the top one tastes like snickers

the middle one tastes like mounds

the bottom one doesn't have a comparable candy bar but it still tastes like candy

forgive my shallow depth of field, this bottle says "real coconut water + pulp"

pulp is just another way of saying there's pieces of coconut floating around inside.

the brand is taste nirvana, y'all. i've tried tons of types of coconut water and this is the best.

the lid says "happiness in a bottle" but they meant to write CANDY. common spelling error.

++bonus++ to the left of that bottle is mint and honey sweet leaf tea aka the official drink of summer.

cya

fit auggie 2k11

everyone knows that august is the month for ~GETTING IN SHAPE~ and ~EATING HEALTHY~

it's the end of the summer and there's tons of fun wayz 2 stay active during the hottest month of the year~*~*~*~*~

(duh, andrew dost is the official inventor of fit auggie but i am an avid follower of this beneficial month-long celebration of being FIT.)

one way you can stay in shape is by never driving your car and only walking everywhere. riding a bike would suffice also but i left mine in shrevelaaaaa.

walking in california is easy because the weather is only mildly hot, although it would be considerably more difficult in louisiana where you can't walk down the street without becoming drenched in sweat. although sweating is not necessarily a bad thing, as proven in the episode of boy meets world where cory has to lose weight to get in the lower wrestling division so he doesn't have to wrestle against vader's son so he sits in the sauna and gets sweaty on purpose y'all. i don't know maybe that never happened. i may be combining two episodes or even two shows.

what i'm trying to say is that sweating is good, taking walks is good, exercising is good for the body and mind and soul. everyone knows that.

my mom got me this EXCELLENT book when she visited me:

it tells you all the raddest places to take walks. so far i've seen TWO frank lloyd wright houses~*~

also it has parks and historical landmarks and tons of good restaurants and PEACEFUL ESCAPES.

also the walks are kind of long so it counts as exercising, especially if you wear tennis shoes.

another gr8 way to stay fit during the summer is by swimming. in louisiana i had a pool in my yard which was perfect for doing "WATER OLYMPICS" aka swimming laps using only arms or only legs, or running in circles and creating whirlpools and trying to swim against the currents. i've tried doing the same here a few times at my apartment pool but this usually deters me:

(so proud to have taken this picture. cr33p)

yet another way to participate in fit auggie is by taking a boxing class!!!!!111

i did this today y'all. for real.

i almost cried/died, but i loved it and want to go back. want to get my own gloves that aren't drenched in other ppls sweat. want to become a famous female boxer. want to spar with tons of ppl and win.

also i can't do any pushups at all :o(**** so trying to do them with a giant rubber band around my wrists was impossible.

also a week ago i took a salsa dancing class.

THERE ARE MILLIONZ OF WAYZ 2 B FIT.

<3 fit auggie 4ever

"life is strange y'all" an essay on the strangeness of life

this all started two nights ago.

what began as a normal evening spent eating delicious hummus and mozzarella balls (who knew those were even good!?!) and watching one particular prime-time crime drama gradually transitioned into some of the very oddest hours of my life, maybe. i don't know, i can't think of anything comparable right now.

this is what usually happens when i have to work an opening shift the next morning, PLEASE PREPARE YOURSELVES TO READ SOMETHING VERY EXCITING: i get ready for bed early-ish and then i read or watch dawson's creek until i'm tired. then i go to sleep. shocking, i know.

but since i'm house/dog-sitting for loulu~*~, my routine was a little disrupted. that's fine, no problem there. i'm a perfectly adaptable human being.

i tried to go to sleep with exactly 6 hours before i needed to be awake in the morning. EVERYONE KNOWS that six hours of sleep is adequate for normal, cognitive functioning.

little did i know, sleeping with a bulldog in the bed with you does NOT allow for a night of uninterrupted sleep. but like i said y'all, i'm adaptable, and was able to get comfortable in spite of the snoring, twitching, kicking 60-pound mass of cuteness next to me.

unfortunately, after trying to fall asleep to no avail for 2 hours, a search helicopter began to circle DIRECTLY ABOVE ME for at least 40 minutes. after about 30 minutes and near insanity, i blindly fumbled my way downstairs to get my earplugs.

by the time i got back into bed i was wide awake. y'all are probably familiar with this scenario: you have to get up early and you only have x amount of hours to sleep. as x decreases, panic sets in, which in turn makes you less likely to fall asleep. "if i fall asleep RIGHT NOW i can get x hours!"... "ok if i fall asleep NOW i can get x-1 hours" ... etc.

this has happened to me tonssss of times, but usually around 2am i pass out from exhaustion.

NOT LAST NIGHT THOUGH XXXXX, my brain had other plans.

i tried alllll the tricks. putting thoughts in boxes, writing things down, counting backwards from 100.

i probably started at 100 about 7 million times and never once made it all the way to 1 without my mind wandering and losing count.

basically what i've spent like 20 paragraphs trying to say is:

I STAYED AWAKE ALL NIGHT WITHOUT EVEN ONE MINUTE OF SLEEP.

and because of this, i spent the next day in a surreal state of being.

and because of this, crayyyzay things kept happening to me allll day:

1. i had to take darling loulu for a walk before i went to work, and it was still dark outside. i wasn't concerned for my safety because i was within 3 feet of a vicious guard bulldog.

unfortunately i was unable to inform loulu of her protective position, and she cowered in fear at a lone man wearing a shirt that said "FUCK" standing directly outside the apartment. i tried to pull her leash so she'd keep walking, but she stood firmly planted in the grass, gazing at the man with an absolutely terrified expression. thanks loulu.

2. after surviving the encounter with man #1, i drove to work and parked my car in the parking garage at work (still dark outside y'all, basically no one is awake yet). i was just getting my hello kitty lunch box out of my backpack, the usual,

then i turn to exit my vehicle and A MAN WITH A BLEEDING HEAD IS STANDING INCHES FROM ME.

clearly shocked and very confused, i opened my door slowly. just for the record, even though i've seen zillions of criminal minds episodes and also the movie urban legend so of course i am knowledgeable of the stereotypical murderer "help me please i'm in trouble" ploy. i still opened my door anyway. so if ever i am murdered and the FBI supervisory special agents are trying to profile the unsub who killed me and someone is like, lizzie isn't stupid y'all, she'd never _______ someone she didn't know!

proof right there that i would in fact open my door for a man with a bleeding head. sorry mom and dad.

the man, who barely spoke english, was trying to explain his situation. at first i thought he said he got hit by a car, but then i understood the word "gate" and i still don't know why he was telling me any of this or what he expected me to do. i think my last words to him were "uh. that sucksssss, i'm sorry" and i practically sprinted to work (while doing the wolverine of course)

3. while at work, STRANGE THINGS KEPT HAPPENING. mostly in the form of customers being even more weird than usual.

first there was the guy who ordered like 239857w pastries and showed me and my coworker pictures of his wife and asked us to guess her age, and also insisted that my mom had a facebook and i just didn't know about it. also he kept making bets with us and losing.

then also the guy who left his HOLY BIBLE WORD SEARCH BOOK accidentally and i looked through it and all the words were crossed out except the word "ass" was circled. then i saw that he wrote at the top of the word searches things like: "only 8 minutes!" and "yea!" and the date and times that he completed them. so i saw him sitting across at the bus stop in his neon pink shirt and jesus lanyard so i went outside and waved his book and yelled "EXCUSE ME IS THIS YOURZ" and he ran in front of traffic to get it back.

i hope these details suffice for you guyz to believe me that i had a weird day~*~

also i went to a pie cooking contest but had to leave before even eating pie.

also i took ***night-time sleep aid*** last night in order to avoid a repeat of the previous night. and i was trying to write this blog~*~ but i couldn't because my fingers couldn't type. i felt like a zombie 4 real.

hope y'all r living normal lives l8ly~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hope no men with bleeding heads approach y'all's cars at 5am.

an applicable inspirational quote for all y'all to read:

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”

-john krakauer~*~

the most coveted vehicle in weho

bErT jAmEs and eRiC what is going on here.

everytime i see these notes on my windshield i think i have a parking ticket~~~

MERCURY, STOP IT